A) Causation fail! Farting caused by democracy.  Yahoo News.

B) At least it’s a departure from drunk driving:  Lindsay Lohan allegedly steals a $2,500 necklace.  CNN.

C) 1st year law student, 2nd semester, 6 things you should do to succeed in law school.  Vault.

D) A shortage of food that affects less than .00001% of our population.  Wallet Pop.

E) Yeah, this seems like the kind of girl Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez would date.  Deadspin.